I am alone. And unless i want to feel completely guilty for the rest of my life...im not going to aei. I dont need to be treated like that..This was supposed to be my future..but i dont want it if im going to be constantly reminded of what a burden i am.
I will leave soon. Its easy enough to find jobs.. It's obvious how unhappy i am here, and the system requires that i pay 80000 dollars to learn, so why? Why do i try hard to be a good person, a smart person, a caring compassionate person...when i just get shit on by those i love the most.
I must be weak. Perhaps i bring it all upon myself. Im running away..and im taking harrington with me. Theres nothing keeping me here.
1 comment:
Anonymouswriter knows no background, but he is sorry. He empathizes - his education cost 80000 dollars when 80000 dollars meant something. Actually, Anonymouswriter regrets his choice of career and wasteful education, but he does not expect Justine to understand that - he is anonymous! He is not implying that Justine's desired education is wasteful - he trusts that Justine knows best what is best for Justine.
You pulled yourself through your early malaise. But, as the day wore on, it piled on: the anxiety, the obligation, the difficulty. You found yourself back in that bad place. Seeing yourself there again only aggravates the feeling - in this fucking shithole again?!!!
That's normal - only the toughest, most soulless uninspired person machines can withstand life's assaults without stumbling. Tenacity though, the willingness to fight it each round, the foolish confidence that trying again might work this time - that is so impressive. And, in Anonymouswriter's opinion, the essential quality that will distinguish Justine in the end.
Even running away - that is DOING something. It's a decision. Anonymouswriter respects decisions and doing. He finds them inspiring!
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